Ask A Parent Advisor: Getting Ready for the Holidays

Question:

My daughter was recently diagnosed with autism. My family is getting ready to go home for the holidays and I am really nervous about how my extended family might respond to my daughter. Any suggestions?

Answer:

Holidays with extended family can be stressful for any family, whether or not a child has a disability, but holidays can also be a time to celebrate your family and the traditions you have! Planning ahead will go a long way in making the time with your family enjoyable for everyone.

Brainstorm some of your family’s traditions during the holidays. Then, think about some of your daughter’s strengths and interests and
how you might tie them into existing family traditions. For example, if your family loves to watch football during the holidays and your daughter loves making friendship bracelets, maybe she can make her uncle, who loves the Denver Broncos, an orange and blue friendship bracelet. Be creative and remember that family traditions all started somewhere, so there is always space to start anew!

At the family gathering, bring plenty of activities such has DVDs, an iPad, music, games, and toys that will help your daughter feel more comfortable and give her an opportunity to share some of her favorite things with her family. Most family members want to be helpful and supportive so let them know if there is anything your daughter might need to feel more comfortable. Remind them she might need a little time to “warm up” to them but that she loves Justin Bieber, or swimming, or animals – anything that can open the doors for communication and connection. Plan time for breaks – we all need downtime so do it for yourself and for your daughter. Consider having an escape plan, just in case. Have your own car so that if either of you have a meltdown, you can sneak away, thereby protecting you and your daughter but still allowing the rest of the family to stay together.

Keep in mind that this is a new diagnosis for you too. Your daughter is a unique person made up of several characteristics, autism being one of them. Don’t feel the need to explain “autism” to your entire family – that can come later. Take this time to share and celebrate the gift of your daughter. Most of all take time to enjoy your trip home and make lasting memories for you and your daughter.

Here are a couple of resources you might find helpful while planning for your trip:

Special Needs and Special Occasions: Making family gatherings good, not ghastly.

Holiday Travel Tips for Kids with Special Needs.

Do any readers have any tips or past successes to share with this new mom? Email This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it your ideas and/or any fun or festive holiday stories to PEAK…maybe your idea will be just what a family needs as they gear up for their next holiday season!

PEAK Parent Center www.peakparent.org - Winter 2011 SPEAKout Newsletter

Copyright 2011 © by PEAK Parent Center, Inc.  All rights reserved. Permission to reproduce may be obtained from PEAK Parent Center.